Alim’s Balm of Gilead

Alim’s Balm of Gilead

I don’t see an end in sight. We’ve lost and mourned people before but not like this. Everywhere I looked, I saw 17 and 18 year olds trying their best to look grown-up in their grown-up attire and using the most appropriate language and manners that their parents instilled in them before sending them off to school for an education…we were struggling. Despite the fact that we were actually twice those ages or more and most of us are parents in our own right instilling the best of values in our children, we still appeared so young and afraid and abandoned and heartbroken. He was facing the East, so for many of us the sun will rise and set there because we could hear Alim Muhammad singing follow me, follow me…to a place where we can be free…that was Friday before the sun set.

I don’t see an end in sight. We were still 17 and 18. We were still struggling but we laughed through tears today. Yesterday was about laying him to rest. Today was about the salve his spirit placed on our open wound. We were given the opportunity to do what we do best: share our love for our brother—tell the stories about him that we have been telling for years because he was always doing something. For the most part he would begin his explanation with ‘maaaaan, listen’…sounding like every bit of a 99 year-old Mid-West Player. If he couldn’t get you to see his side, his smile would be the deal-breaker and all of a sudden he made sense. We needed that day as the balm for yesterday. We were immensely grateful for the whole forty years that God loaned him to us. We still appeared young, just not as heartbroken and definitely not abandoned. That was Saturday before the sun set.

I don’t see an end in sight. I don’t see a gathering or an event where we won’t be, illogically so, looking for him to walk through the door because that was his habit. Twenty years, some for more, of knowing one thing for certain and two things for sure: Alim was going to be there in some way, form, or fashion and that was true that night. We celebrated him. We celebrated for him. We celebrated because of him. We celebrated with him. We danced and danced and danced. We gave Alim all the roses he so righteously deserved while he was physically among us so we have no regrets. We loved him purposely and unashamedly. We make no apologies for selfishly mourning him because he brought us joy and who would celebrate losing joy? And we make no apologies for expecting him to show up at every event because that is his habit…he had to knock down a picture to remind us that the east was in the house, he was the coldest brother there ever was, and the ties that bind us are immeasurable, innumerable, and eternal. That was Saturday before the sun rose. I don’t see an end in sight.

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  1. Beautifully written. I’ll use it at a reflection in the days and years to come but today it will serve the purpose of a crutch.

  2. That was just beautiful Effie.

  3. Tanya Mullins

    Effie: this is truly amazing. He will be grately missed, but you did your thing with this reflection. I’m sure every broken heart will use this to help them get through this tough time as I’ve read so many cries and confusion as to why he had to go.

    Keep up the good work Lady. You are inspiration to many.

  4. I have to echo Toya’s sentiments on this one “Beautifully written”. I hope these words bring a sense of peace and comfort for those who take the time lay their eyes upon it and reflect.

  5. Beautiful Eff!

  6. Very, very beautiful; Thank You for this.

  7. Thank you Effie! This is beautiful!!!! He will be missed but never, ever forgotten!!!!

  8. Truly that was a masterpiece of the heart! I love it! It made me have goose bumps as I read word for word! You truly did capture my heart! May you be blessed and I am sending comfort, peace, joy, and happiness your way that will last you a lifetime! You are truly gifted and it touch my soul! Much love to you, his family, & the Shaw U family! Blessings!

  9. I really enjoyed. Yes truly in deed as long as those memories are kept alive, there is definitely no end in sight.

  10. Wow Da weiss man, wo es hingehen muss Viele: Wow knowing exactly where it needs to go…

  11. Aѕking questіons aге genuinely fastidious thing if
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  12. LISA Spencer Woodberry

    Just beautiful.. ❤

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